Social media has overtaken our lives. But it’s not all bad.

Social media has overtaken all of our lives. But it’s not all bad.

For our benefit, we need to learn how to use it wisely and in our control. We need to prevent it from consuming our precious attention for endless, mindless waking hours. Our attention is our most prized commodity. What we pay attention to becomes us. And that skill can be hard to build in ourselves, much less in our children.

How can parents help adolescents navigate and master their social media use? Start with yourself. Model your own controlled, restrained use of social media. It is hard not to get caught up in the engaging and addictive algorithm of endless videos and chats. But are you truly building social connection, confidence, creativity and useful knowledge? No, and actually probably the opposite. Like anything fun and addictive, social media activities are suitable in moderation.

I experimented on myself recently. No social media (Instagram, Facebook, TikTok) during a two-week vacation abroad. No phone to start or end my day. Yes, I detoxed and revamped my relationship with social media and, I have to be honest, it has been freeing! No sugarcoating here, it was really HARD for the first few days. I wanted to reflexively click on my IG feed constantly. Instead, I paused and checked in with three simple questions from Catherine Price’s book, How to Break up with your Phone.

1. What for?
2. Why now?
3. What else could I be doing instead?

My attention was sharpened; I noticed fine details in everything I encountered, engaged more of my senses, talked and laughed more with my family and even strangers! I felt carefree. What happened after vacation and real life returned? There was a slow re-introduction to social media, predetermined time limits and purposeful use, not mindless automatic default. Am I missing it? Not really. I have maintained my newfound free time and used to to engage in other social and creative activities. I am enrolling my family in this experiment next!

Learn how to regain control of your social media use and create more free time to connect in person with people, activities, creativity and yourself. I give tips and tricks on how to do this as well as more information on navigating social media use in general with your children on this podcast, Practical Parenting.

Listen to Ep. 3: “Social Media: Friend or Foe?" on:

• Spotify
• Apple
• Amazon Music